Belly of the Beast


Patrick’s Folly

For somebody who wants to be the leader of the country, Patrick does seem to do the damnedest things sometimes. Almost like when he was allegedly beating those women he tripped and hit his head and never recovered. Latest news is that Faber had a lot to say about the so-called fleecing of the country by select persons with a last name starting with B. The fleecing part is no big secret, since everybody and their granny could tell who got rich off big schemes like BTL and other assorted plums. But we hear that Faber was recorded saying that when he becomes leader of the UDP (LOL) he will get rid of all those who have raided the public purse and have become multi-millionaires. We’re told the person who recorded him saying that then went straight to the PM, whose last name coincidentally begins with a B (go figure), and as far as the PM was concerned, it was the end of Patrick’s aspirations. In an interview this week the old bad back Barrow confirmed that he has picked a favourite, and he has been ‘making some calls,’ which is what we were told. Now you know why people who traditionally stood firm in the Faber camp have been jumping ship to side with porky from Belmopan. Interesting days ahead in the UDP.

Firing Back

Poor Patsy may be down, with the weight of the UDP world on his shoulders, but he’s not out. Reliable sources from the Faber camp told us this week that they are planning to lodge a formal complaint with the UDP Secretariat because they feel that the old Barrow has been using his power to secretly change out delegates and replace them with persons who are likely to vote porky’s way. It seems that according to the UDP’s constitution, any change of delegates is supposed to be done transparently and with due process, but it’s not like rules really matter to the UDP. So while Pats has been courting delegates and jumping through hoops, he’s finding out that all the people he’s courting are being replaced. Sheer genius. Patsy is crying foul and screaming bloody murder, but it’s not like anybody’s really listening. Did we mention interesting times in the UDP?

Not so fast

Still, it seems that while Saldivar is looking particularly scrumptious in the leadership race right now, Barrow doesn’t like him either. So the paper tiger is making a last stand and has made it clear in the UDP ranks that he ain’t going nowhere until general elections are called, because he can’t trust either Saldivar or Faber to steer the ship. He must mean specifically the UDP ship because he done crashed the ship of state onto the reef. In an interview this week, Barrow made it clear that he won’t leave until he’s good and ready to leave. He also made it clear that whoever wins the convention in 2020 won’t be leader of the party, but only leader-elect. Which reminds us of that lipstick on a pig thing. Whoever wins, be it Faber or Saldivar, will be all dressed up in lipstick and frock, with nowhere to go. Now that image is hilarious, and yet very unpleasant.

The GST Canary

Poor Mr. Verde, who was left on his own to sink or swim after the FBI released the evidence they had on him, has apparently decided to swim, like Nemo even. More than swim, it seems he may have decided to SING. The Belize Times understands that Verde has been afforded some protection by federal authorities which is given to persons who ‘cooperate’ with those authorities. By ‘cooperate,’ we mean that Verde who is really, in the scheme of things, a small fish, may have volunteered some information on much bigger fishes. As second in charge of the GST Department, we have absolutely no doubt that Verde knows a lot about a whole lot of powerful people. In fact, we hear that very powerful people have been cancelling all trips which would have to pass through the US. That’s a smart thing, we figure, because Uncle Sam ain’t playing. That’s for sure.



You know, on hindsight it made no sense to spend millions on a re-registration exercise when all the UDP did was put their own people in place at the Elections and Boundaries Departments to do the same old corrupt bullshit they’ve always done. When Mr. Barrow was asked about it he dodged the question, and he knows why. Queen Square is one of those constituencies which have always had dozens of persons registered in a one room shack, and about a hundred more registered in empty lots. That’s how the old PM has managed to win election after election. And it’s wrong. We have to get this thing right. Can’t be politics as usual in Belize anymore.


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