As much as
possible, I try to keep this column dedicated to the lighter side of politics –
a kind of UDP bloopers, bleeps and blunders, if you will – and it’s no lie that
I don’t have to work really hard to get material, that’s for sure. But this
first thing ain’t so light. See, a couple weeks ago an ad in a newspaper had
out a ‘Lost & Need to Be Found’ poster on a UDP Minister who hasn’t been
seen for quite a while. Lo and behold I caught a glimpse of the elusive
creature today on the news. Minister Carlos Perdomo was profiling at a cadet
corps ceremony of some sort, bright red shirt and all. I don’t mean to take
anything away from the cadet corps…it’s a good thing and all that. But hell,
mein, crime is completely out of control. Just a few days ago an 82 year old
man was butchered for his car, and just miles down the road, Police are still
trying to identify a body which was found with its hands cut off. Youths are
killing and maiming each other on the streets each and every day. The Police
are overworked, under-staffed, under-resourced. It seems like a situation
without a solution. And our Minister seems able only to make ceremonial
appearances, spiffily dressed in bright attire and smiling fit to burst. Aw,
hell! We don’t need a Minister like that. Crime is rough. We need a Minister
who’s not afraid to get down and dirty and rough and tough to get the job done.
We need a policymaker, a decision-taker, a leader who is not afraid to get down
in the trenches with his troops. You know what…Perdomo doesn’t fit any of the
criteria, and its showing. He needs to get the hell out and assume another
portfolio…maybe the Ministry of Crochet, Cake Decorating and Cooking is free
right about now…If Da No Soh!
First Lady
blues…!
Man, when I
heard this one I laughed so hard my belly jiggled. Okay, okay, my belly always
jiggles when I laugh but this one sure was funny. You gotta read this.
Apparently the Ministry of Foreign Affairs recently wrote a short note to the
Governor General of Belize, Sir Colville Young Sr. In this letter, they
allegedly asked very respectfully if the GG would mind if the Prime Minister’s
wife, Kim Simplis Barrow, use the title of First Lady. So anyway, a few days
later the GG allegedly wrote back, just as respectfully, and explained that
while he admired the wife of the Prime Minister tremendously for the work she
is doing, the title of First Lady actually is bestowed on the wife of the Head
of State, not the wife of the Prime Minister. Still respectfully, the GG
reportedly then wrote that while he personally does not have a problem with it,
protocol wouldn’t allow it. Ouch for Kim and ouch for the PM…If Da No Soh!
Make an
appointment…
This just
in…the Office of the First Lady (Kim apparently hasn’t seen the memo from the
GG) is set to open up in early October. We’re not exactly sure who she will be seeing
there or what she will be doing but anyway…be sure to make your appointments
early so that when we finally find out why she will actually be operating an
office, you won’t be left out in the cold…If Da No Soh!
That Damned
Margarito
Have you
ever met one of those people who are just compelled to do wrong…no matter how
many times they get caught they can’t stop? Anyway, our story this fine night
is about Margarito, our erstwhile Deputy Prime Minister. This columnist has
received reports that there is a parcel of land in OW which is rich with
mahogany trees and other hardwoods. Allegedly, the owner is not interested in
selling, but a friend of the Deputy Prime Minister has expressed serious
interest in purchasing. As the story goes, this interested party went to the
DPM with his concern and shortly after, there was some noise made about the
Ministry acquiring the land because of some ‘alleged’ illegal activity being
done on the land. So where we allegedly are right now is here – the Minister is
allegedly using his power to acquire the land for his friend. And as for the
Mahogany and other hardwoods on the land…well, conveniently, our DPM is
reportedly involved with a company which exports mahogany and other hardwoods.
Careful Margarito, cause the hounds are on your tail and there’ll be a lot more
details of this story soon…If Da No Soh!
Punked in
the Papers…
Gapi has
been caught talking out of turn again. See, he just loves getting up in the
House of Representatives and spouting a lot of nonsense, a lot of lies. In the
House, he has immunity, so he can say what the hell he wants, as silly as he
sounds. But in the papers this week, the barely coherent DPM was punked, big
time. At the last sitting of the House, he got up and talked about 300 acres of
land which had been given to one Carl Meggs. He even waved the papers in his
fist as evidence of this so-called 300 acres of land, all the while with his
typical vacuous smile in place. But Meggs isn’t standing for it. In fact, he’s
calling on Gapi to produce evidence of the 300 acres, and is promising that if
Gapi can do so, he will, in a public ceremony, hand over that 300 acres of
land. Come on Gapi, come on big boy. You got a lot to say in the House of
Representatives. Prove to us that you aren’t just a big liar waving a bunch of
blank and bogus sheets of paper. You can’t, can you…cause you’re nothing but a
dud…If Da No Soh!
This ain’t a
classroom, boy!
Hell, I
thought Patrick was going to cry at the consultations in Orange Walk on
Wednesday night. See, the little runt thinks he’s still in a classroom and
still teaching a bunch of kids, so he goes to the consultations and acts like
he has any authority whatsoever. But the bwoy get the sense now. The people in
OW were really angry about the stupid amendments and whenever they got
passionate, Patrick would try to scold them and threaten to put them out of the
room. Well, he threatened the wrong person and was nearly run out of the room
himself. The people aren’t going to stand for all this crap with dual
citizenship. As one man told Patrick, he would kill for his flag. When Patrick
asked the fellow where he had learned to behave so unruly, he answered that he
had learned it from Patrick at the House of Representatives. Jeez, I swear I
saw tears in Patrick’s eyes…poor fellow…If Da No Soh!
This just
in…
Hmmm! This
columnist has just received word that the authorities at the Free Zone are not
allowing Police or Special Branch personnel to be within the gates. Now the
funny thing is that there are reports that drug trafficking is at an all time
high within the Free Zone, so at a time when Police presence should be
increased, why, pray tell, would the authorities want no Police presence.
Something just ain’t right, you can bet on that…If Da No Soh!
Getting
repetitious…
Reports reaching this columnist indicate that
Edmond ‘Studmuffin’ Castro was caught in the act once again a few days ago. We
tell it to you just like we get it…apparently the man was with a friend behind
SCA when his daughter happened upon them in a compromising position, so to
speak. She allegedly vented quite a bit of her anger on the Ministerial ride
before leaving the scene, so there you go. The only thing is that whenever
Castro is caught, we end up paying, since taxpayers are paying for his fancy
GOB rides…If Da No Soh! Add as favourites (22) | Views: 3808 | Print | E-mail
Comments (1)
1. Talk what you know Written by
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
, on 08-09-2009 16:53 who ever you are you need to talk what you about my daddy ! all he does is help ppl !you say he was with a friend behind S.C.A ? hahahaha your real bright if he wanted to be with a friend why pick sca dumb ass !
Reports reaching this columnist indicate that
Edmond ‘Studmuffin’ Castro was caught in the act once again a few days ago. We
tell it to you just like we get it…apparently the man was with a friend behind
SCA when his daughter happened upon them in a compromising position, so to
speak. She allegedly vented quite a bit of her anger on the Ministerial ride
before leaving the scene, so there you go. The only thing is that whenever
Castro is caught, we end up paying, since taxpayers are paying for his fancy
GOB rides…If Da No Soh!
Add as favourites (22) | Views: 3808 | Print | E-mail
Comments (1)
