Belly of the Beast



Even as Belizeans struggle to pay the increase in contributions demanded by the UDP run SSB, that entity continues to be used as a cash cow for political projects. This time it is $1.6M that the government wants to sneak into the pockets of Rolando Montero, brother of UDP Minister Rene Montero. The wutless bunch tried to pull a fast one, claiming that the money would be paid out of NHI funds managed by the SSB. But check this out. The government cannot touch NHI funds just like that, and now the cat is out of the bag. A document leaked this week shows that the $1.6M was a done deal, according to the Ministry of Health and the Ministry of Finance. If a friend at very high levels in the PM’s Ministry hadn’t raised a stink, this one would have gone just like that. But now the problem is that Minister Montero’s brother has already been promised the $1.6M –so where is that money going to come from? We’ll keep following this one, because no matter how much they hustle it is ALWAYS the people that pay. ALWAYS.


On behalf of our leader and the Party, we thank all Belizeans who came out during Village Council elections to send a message to the UDP that it is time for them to go. It was a resounding victory for the PUP, and clear sign that the people are ready to return the PUP to office to right the wrongs of this administration led by the lame-duck, bad-back Barrow. They can try to spin this all they like, but the truth is the truth, and the writing is on the wall. The people of our rural communities all across this country have announced, in convincing fashion, that they are tired of the UDP. As it is said, so shall it be done!

Sanctuary Bay

The PUP is forced to concede that the UDP did win convincingly in one community – you know, that one down South somewhere. It’s called Sanctuary Bay. Thanks to the work put in by the Prime Minister and a lot of his rich and privileged friends who are no friends of the FTC, the UDP won Sanctuary Bay without contest. We won’t even begin to claim that one. Between us political friends, we hear that there’s another FTC rocket aimed at the Prime Minister which will blow this scam wide open again. But we’ve been asked to keep that one quiet for now. Wait for it.

Porky Pig

The pot-bellied Minister of National Insecurity has done what he does best – blame the media for the murder and violence and mayhem plaguing the country. In a press release issued on Wednesday, Mason’s best friend says that in reporting the 18 murders for the month of June, the media mistakenly gave the impression that crime is out of control, and people might mistakenly get the impression that the Ministry and Police are not in control. Jesus forget the wheel – please take that whole man because he desperately needs an intervention. We don’t know if he is still tipsy from all those drinks he took at Mason’s house when he used to hang out there, but there’s something definitely not right with the man who says he wants to be the next Prime Minister of this country. In just the time he took to write that release from his insecurity Ministry, three more bodies were found. That’s how safe Belize is right now.



There are reliable reports from the Minister’s inner circle that as his buddy Mason’s trial draws closer to an end, he has been unable to sleep. A close friend of the man who used to do sleepovers at Mason’s house confided that he has taken to drinking more at night so that he can find some peace and get some rest. We at the Belize Times almost feel sorry for him. Actually no we don’t. He is the one who allowed his friend and business partner Danny Mason to walk around like he was king, Police guard and everything. We figure he’s terrified at what will come out if Mason is ever put on the stand, and that seems likely to happen since the Prosecution has closed its case. Mason, who was thrown under the proverbial bus by the Minister, may now feel inclined to say who he called for help the night the head of poor Pastor Lucas was found? Who was this powerful friend that Mason called when his back was against the wall? We can’t wait to find out.