Belly of the Beast


Grampa Dean

Zenaida might have had a few screws loose. Well to be honest she had a whole hardware store worth of screws loose. But she was spot on when she made reference to Grampa Dean’s shrivelled, dangling appendages, or lack thereof. Imagine that this man doesn’t have the cojones to tell the Belizean people in plain English that he’s ready to retire to the beach in Placencia where he can contemplate how to spend the millions he made while in office. A couple days ago he was being interviewed and started explaining in French that he messed up so bad that when he rolls out all hell will break loose. Speak plain English gramps. The truth is that while the old man lacks the bolas to come clean, we know exactly how bad things are. Because we’re the normal Belizeans who haven’t gotten the privileges that UDP ministers and their cronies get. While UDP Ministers are still living all fancy during this pandemic, there are people who literally cannot get food or help. That is the reality on the streets. So take your French and stick it where the sun don’t shine, Grampa Dean. Your day of reckoning is coming soon.

All glitter

We figure in the interest of politics we should be focused on cousin Patrick, who we’re told is the leader elect of the UDP. But it’s so damned hard to take him seriously. Everybody knows his political aspirations to be Prime Minister will never see the light of day, and he’s become such a petulant, pouting punk lately that we decided to leave him to sulk in his little UDP timeout corner. Now Grampa Dean is a jackass of a totally different colour. Just this past week he was bold enough to say that it doesn’t matter if the UDP makes bad decisions while he’s there, because it’s not like anybody can cut his pay. The pretentious fool likes to point out that he’s given up his salary since March. But he’s wearing the dunce cap, not us. You think it’s any coincidence that immediately after that the Police started renting a building owned by Barrow for over $6000 a month? Trust us when we say that Gramps hasn’t lost a thing. Under the UDP, only us normal, regular taxpayers always lose.

Another sick puppy

We watched the video footage of Manuel Heredia high on his veranda as hundreds of residents of San Pedro begged for assistance. We watched as Heredia lowered a little string, handing out crumbs, disrespecting Belizeans like the UDP always does. Imagine that in San Pedro where Heredia is Area Representative and there is a UDP Town Council in charge, people are literally forced to beg for help. That is what the UDP has created. While Heredia has gotten rich, nothing has been done to improve the conditions of the residents of San Pedro, many of whom still live in poverty. And you know what pisses us off even more? Police were quick to arrest a poor Pastor in the south for having 16 people in his church, yet the Commissioner says that he can’t arrest Heredia for having more than 200 people gathered in front of his home, a clear breach of social distancing protocols. Typical animal farm mentality. All these new regulations have done is punish the poor Belizean. The Police are quick to pick up and arrest any normal Belizean on the street not wearing a mask. But their boss, affectionately known in the BPD as Minister Humpty Dumpty, can be all over the place without a mask. Fih Gawd Sake Stop It!


This week a Customs Officer and an Immigration Officer were charged after a tugboat went to Honduras and the crew came back COVID-19 positive. That’s a hell of a thing, and we gotta say we’re proud of the Comptroller of Customs for calling bullshit in a hurry. The fact is that the Belize Port Authority gave authorization for the tugboat to go. All relevant authorities gave permission. The big boys at Big Creek knew what was going down. So how come nobody in authority has been arrested and charged? Lone fool that. It’s just like Civil Aviation giving permission for private planes to land in Belize. One month after that plane landed which may have started the whole spread of COVID in San Pedro, everybody’s gone quiet. We still don’t know who was in the damned plane, and for sure nobody’s gone to arrest Manuel Heredia for allowing the plane to land. You’re a good guy sometimes, Chester, but you need to get your head out of the politicians’ hind-quarters and do your job. Your job is not to follow orders from the UDP and surely not to escort Minister Humpty Dumpty all over the place.